Journal entry from yesterday, October 9th, 2017. Right now we are back in NY, a few hours left until we reach our home ❤️
I’m still here! 66 days into this journey. Life has been so busy, but so good. Jen and I have been on the road since the end of September (29th-ish). Vermont, Syracuse, Maryland, Richmond, Virginia, Asheville, NC, and lastly Pennsylvania. Staying in a town called Ohiopyle – I think it’s funny. The town itself has a population of 59! Interesting.
We have been grateful for nice traveling weather. Just yesterday it began to rain and is consistently doing so this morning. I’m sitting on a little porch in Babcock State Park – drinking coffee, listening to the music of the raindrops on the leaves. This place is so full of beauty, and the sound is like a symphony because we are so deep into the woods. The trees are all amazing with their bursts of yellow, red and green.
I feel so lucky. Not some superficial, glad to still be on vacation, luck. But true, deep into my soul ache of gratitude for being able to see a small chunk of the world that I had not seen before. That I’ve been able to see familiar faces of friends and family members along the way. Lastly, I’m lucky I’ve found peace and strength with each day of sobriety.
I clearly have learned on this trip that at times, I still struggle. How could I not, when it seems that a new microbrewery or winery has been built on every corner we turned, in any county we entered?! How romanticized drinking really is. How interesting that now, for me – it is the least sexy thing I could do for myself. The emotions I have felt while running into my “ex”, alcohol, have been like the beads of rain drops on all the leaves around me. Some just roll off, never to be seen – or felt again. But sometimes it lingers and lays on the leaf, or in me – and we just have to hang for a while.
I run through emotional checklists like:
- I’m okay – yes.
- Do I want to drink? No!
- It makes me mad to see it everywhere – usually.
- I’ll get through all these feelings – yes.
- Will I regret staying sober another day? Hell no!
I make it through – another time, minute or day. So grateful.
The world is an amazing place – go see it.
Life is an amazing thing – and we must feel that.