Today marks 100 days without one sip of alcohol! How can this be true?? I remember so vividly waking up that first day, knowing I needed to stop – but overwhelmed with the idea of it being a forever thing. So daunting to consider a lifetime without something you thought you loved, and more so – needed. I definitely know at this point that I do not need a drink. I’m grateful for all the love and support I have received so far, and know that it is still just the beginning of this journey.
What I am acknowledging here and now, is that I have been doing it wrong the last month, or possibly longer.
I think the proper recovery term is “white knuckling”. I have barely written, attended a meeting, spent time with the online community I joined; or made an effort to reach out to the local fitness recovery group I really want to be part of. I have been just getting by. It honestly hasn’t been difficult. I have not really felt like drinking, as in my head – that just isn’t what I do anymore.
However, I have felt pretty left out at times. I have felt like people around me have been inconsiderate. I have felt alone.
I know I am not though. Me not drinking really doesn’t need to be on the forefront of everyone else’s brain (I almost would prefer it not to be). Being part of the sober community accentuates this truth though, and I have been leaving my own self out. I have created an imbalance of the priorities within my life and feel an imbalance in my brain because of it. If I immerse myself with like minded people with similar stories, and encouraging words of long term, healthy living and sobriety, I am definitely apt to be more successful.
Let me move on. This blog has been created for my accountability and to share my story. Possibly to attract others who are in the same boat as me. I promise to myself and to those who are curious and supportive of my journey, that I will write more. Whether it is a post on my sobriety, mental health, or anything else pertinent to my life – I will include you. Making time for myself is an important, yet sometimes difficult task (and I don’t even have kids yet! ha.)
So that is all I truly feel is relevant to my sober life right now. I look forward to diving back in, in order to fulfil my soul, myself, and others with positive encouragement.