Three things that could potentially sabotage sobriety, no matter who you are….
1.) Summer Weather. 2.) Your Own Wedding. 3.) An Italian Honeymoon.
Knowing this may take up some space, I decided to split it into a  separate blog series.
1.) Summer Weather – First experience sans alcohol.
This is first on the list because it was the first thing this year that really threw my confidence in sobriety for a loop. I’d been doing just fine. Interacting via my online community (barely), flexing my sober muscles, and really not giving much thought about not drinking. After 9 months without, I felt as if I was getting a grip on my day to day intention – and succeeding. Then, the way it always is here in Rochester, spring came, and then rapidly turned into summer….
So, I wanted some god damned white wine with fruit in it.
Because that is just the way it is when the weather turns nice. Your romantic brain swoons over porches, hammocks, and an ice cold beverage in hand to create a giddy kick into the “summertime and the livin’s easy” mentality. I survived these urges – explored more mocktails, drank an ice cold NA beer, and leaned on my love to remind me why I am where I am. It had not occurred to me until Jen called it out – but I stopped drinking in August last year. That meant, the beginning of summer had already come and gone while I was still drinking. I’d had my last hurrah of welcoming it with wine (or whatever I wanted), and I didn’t even know it at the time. Ah-ha! That was an absolute revelation. The impact weather can have on our emotions, traditions, and our future – is forever out of our control at times. I was grateful for the learning experience, and the fact that I didn’t throw it all out the window. It goes to show, that the truth still is, there is something positive to anticipate when you lean into discomfort.
I do wonder – will every birth of summer feel this way? I’ll keep you posted 😉